


When do you get off?

by DrunkenShipper (greenrave)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2277819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenrave/pseuds/DrunkenShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>gay bar!au for my Rubberbang lovelies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Rated M for Danny saying "fucking" about a hundred times in this chapter. Rated M for Ross screaming it in the next.

“Can you make me something with this?”

Danny eyed the glass bottle the stranger had plunked down on the bartop. He picked it up and sloshed around the white liquid inside.

“Fucking…milk?” he asked.

“I like milk.”

Dan opened his mouth, eyes still glued to the bottle in his hand. Then he shut it again with a huff and glanced around the bar. It was early on a Wednesday night. Almost no-one there. The couple at the end of the bar were giggling and playing footsie with each other, neither seeming to have taken any notice of the proceedings.

“I don’t know, dude,” Dan said, setting the bottle down again.

The other man spun around lazily on the barstool, leaning his elbows on the bar and looking out at the pitiful excuse for a sight before him. “Never been here,” he commented. Then he spun back around and shoved his hand at Danny’s chest. “Ross, by the way.”

Danny took it, a little flustered. “Dan. Uh, look guy—”

“Oh, I’m not drunk or anything. I’m just…” Ross flourished his hand as he looked for a suitable word to describe his condition. “Bored,” he finished, evidently proud of his vocabulary.

Dan nodded slowly, glancing left and right to see if any of the meager attendance needed a refill. Apparently not. He turned his attention back to Ross, who had his elbows on the bar and his chin in his hands, and was leaning far enough forward to tip the back legs of the stool off the floor.

 

“So,” Ross said, grinning. “You come here often?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dan said, laughing as he spoke. “I work here, so yeah, kind of.”

“No, but I mean,” Ross pressed, leaning even closer. “Do you come, _here_. Often.”

Dan cocked his head to the side, perplexed.

“ _You_ know,” Ross said, whispering conspiratorially. “This _side of the coin_?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“What in God’s name are you—”

“Is this _not_ a gay bar?” Ross demanded, the force of his exasperation throwing him backwards and slamming the stool legs back onto the wooden floor with a bang that caused the entwined men at the end of the bar to stop their groping for a moment and look around.

“What? Yeah, it’s… Oh, you mean am _I_ …? Oh.”

Dan had his next line rehearsed. You didn’t work as an attractive man at a gay bar for as long as Dan had without developing the least offensive, most honest way of turning down unwanted attractions.

“This is just my job, man,” he said, turning away and busying himself with washing a glass that was already clean.

It wasn’t an answer to Ross’ question, technically. Dan was actually very much into men. But in Dan’s experience, it wasn’t a good idea to start relationships with patrons.

When he turned back Ross was still watching him. He held his poker face, waiting for Ross to speak.

“You’re doing a terrible job of it, then,” Ross finally said.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your job. You’re terrible at it. There’s, like, nobody here, and I’m still waiting for my drink.”

“You didn’t order—” Ross tapped the milk bottle meaningfully “—my God, man, I don’t… Fucking, okay, whatever, give me that.”

He snatched the bottle and clunked the twice-cleaned glass down on the bar. He cast around at the various mixers and liquors he had stocked behind the bar. There were quite a few more than the average bar, and even more so now, it being the holiday season. He grabbed one from the section he mentally designated as “Froofy” and examined it in the low light. Frangelico. Fine. Fucking hazlenut bullshit.

He flipped the bottle over the glass and poured about two inches of the shit in, then filled the glass the rest of the way up with milk.

“There.”

“What’s it called?” Ross asked, reminding Dan of a child who responded to every answer he was given with the question, “why?”

“It doesn’t have—I _just fucking_ —” He sighed. Ross’ big blue eyes were watching him expectantly, making him sure he wasn’t going to get anywhere by fighting. “It’s called the, uh, the Hazlenut, um, Snowman, or whatever.”

“The Hazlenut Snowman, Or Whatever,” Ross repeated, holding his glass up as if he were lauding a god. Dan just shook his head, speechless.

Ross lifted the glass to his lips and—

“Excuse me?”

Both heads turned at the voice. It took Dan a second to realize the newcomer was talking to him. Somehow, talking to Ross, he had forgotten himself for a little while. He mentally shook himself as he walked over to the young-looking boy to answer questions about what was on tap that night. As the boy was making a decision, he let his eyes wander back over to Ross, who was staring up at the menu, not touching the drink.

He really was very attractive, in a young, boyish sense. He had long slender everything, and his mouth seemed to spend the most amount of time in a big, dopy grin.

And then there were the eyes. Those huge, bright blue eyes.

Ross turned his head slowly and met Dan’s gaze, licked his lips, and winked. Dan felt himself go warm, and though he kept his face blank, his legs tightened involuntarily. He hoped against hope Ross hadn’t noticed.

“Okay, uh, can I have a Malibu and Coke, then?” the boy asked.

Dan blinked, breaking the eye-contact, then nodded to the boy and spun around to mix the drink. He set it on the counter, and took the boy’s payment. He took extra time putting the cash away in the register, to give himself a few more seconds to catch his breath. He could feel Ross’ eyes boring in to his skull.

He took a deep breath and walked back to Ross, playing it cool as he could under that gorgeous stare.

“So,” he began, then cleared his throat. “How is it?”

“Haven’t tried it,” Ross said, meeting Dan’s gaze unwaveringly. “I thought you’d like to be here for it.”

He grinned and lifted his glass in a toast, then brought it to his mouth and sipped.

His eyes widened immediately.

“That’s incredible, dude! Oh my god, Dan, you have to try it!”

Ross was all the way up again, one hand on the bar for support, the other thrusting the glass madly at Dan’s face.

“Woah, I uh, no I can’t drink at work, so—”

“Well when do you get off, then?”

Jesus, this guy was quick. Dan couldn’t keep up. Those years of smoking made his synapses fire just a little too slowly to handle Ross’ pace.

“I uh,” he said checking his watch. “Like, in an hour, but—”

“What even _is_ this,” Ross said, holding the glass up to the sky again.

“Um, Jesus, dude. It’s Frangelico.”

“How’d you know to use it?”

“I didn’t, I just—my ex really liked it and—”

“Oh, what was his name?

“What—Mike, okay? Will you just slow down for a second?”

“Okay.” Ross sat back down, letting the glass tap gently onto the bar again. A smug grin slowly began to spread across his face.

“I…okay?” Ross nodded. “Okay.”

“Yup,” Ross said, folding his hands neatly on the bar and looking up at Danny as if he had just gotten away with taking an extra cookie.

Danny gave in. “What is it, Ross?”

“ _His_ name? _Mike_?” Ross waggled his eyebrows.

Dan let his breath out in a slow hiss. “Yes. _His_ name, okay? I’ve dated guys. I like guys. A lot, in fact. But, dude, I’m sorry. I just don’t date patrons. Okay?”

“Oh,” Ross said, deflating a bit. “Uh. Why not?”

There was no reason for Dan to feel like he owed an explanation to Ross, but he felt it anyway.

“It’s just, like, I don’t know. I like my job, and stuff, and if I start dating someone who’s here all the time… If it ends, I mean, that would be just, y’know. Weird.” Dan was looking anywhere but at Ross, but no one seemed to need a new drink yet.

“Well,” he heard Ross saying gently. “This kind of isn’t my scene anyway. I wasn’t planning on ever coming back.”

Dan’s eyes flicked back to Ross, who grinned that dopey grin again.

“What time did you say you get off?”

Dan checked his watch.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan’s relief was a half hour late. His cat had gotten sick, and he was _so_ sorry, and oh my god, Daniel, you’re an absolute saint.

Ross had clearly been trying not to look too eager and give them away. Eventually though he sprang up from the bar and ran outside to wait for Dan. 

“Where do you want to go?” Dan asked when he met up with Ross again. 

“I have a roommate, so…”

“Right. Uh, what do you want to do with your car?” 

Ross shook his head. “I biked.” 

“Oh. Well uh, that would probably fit in my car if you wanted to—”

Ross was already unlocking his bike from the rack. 

~*~

Dan clenched the wheel and did deep breathing exercises to keep himself from losing control of the wheel while Ross seemed to be giving the passenger seat a lap-dance and occasionally moaning Dan’s name. 

“Ross, knock it off dude, please. I can’t fucking concentrate.” 

“But you smell like pheromones,” Ross whined. 

~*~

Ross was out of the car before Dan had shut it off, and when he opened his door Ross was there, waiting for him. Before Dan could get out, Ross was in the car again, on top of Dan, kissing his ears and neck and moaning. 

“Jesus, Ross come on, we have to go inside.” 

Ross whined and made no move to get off, so Dan pushed him out of the car, cradling his ass with one arm. Ross wrapped his legs around Dan’s back and settled down on his hips, still moaning into Dan’s ear. Dan shoved the door closed with his elbow and fumbled with his keys to lock it and find the key to his apartment, all while making sure not to drop Ross, who seemed not to care either way, as long as Danny came down with him. 

When they were finally in the apartment Dan kicked the door shut, dropped Ross off on the couch, and went back to lock up. When he turned around Ross had his shirt up to his chin and was rubbing his nipples with one hand. The other was shoved down his pants. 

“You horny fucking bitch,” Dan said, grabbing Ross by the sleeve and dragging him into the bedroom. He didn’t bother shutting the door. He just pushed Ross over to the bed, grabbed his hips and ground into them with his own thrusts, and started biting at Ross’ neck and ears. 

“Danny,” Ross moaned, twining his fingers into Dan’s plentiful curls. 

“Top or bottom, Ross?” Dan whispered. 

“Bottom,” Ross said, after only a slight pause. 

Danny nodded and guided Ross backward to the bed, helped him down slowly and crawled over him as he inched back toward the pillows. He kissed Ross deeply, his tongue exploring the inside of Ross’ mouth, while his hands fumbled to unclasp Ross’ jeans. Ross scrabbled at Dan’s shirt until Dan had to grab Ross’ hands to stop him from ripping it apart. He undid the buttons while Ross whined and thrust his hips up into Dan’s.

Clothes off and in a tangle on the floor, Dan slid two fingers into Ross’ mouth. Wet enough, they could slip into Ross’ ass and—

“Oh Jesus, Dan!” Ross screamed, bucking into Dan’s fingers and panting already. 

“Shit, Ross, okay hold on. I’ve got to widen—”

“Dan, no I can take it I swear. Fuck me, _please_.”

Ross’ moans made Dan’s cock throb.

“Okay, over,” he instructed. 

Ross obediently flipped around, bracing himself on his elbows and knees, and sticking his ass as far up in the air as he could manage. 

Dan slid two fingers in this time, and stretched as much space out as he could before Ross fell apart completely, begging for Dan’s cock. 

“Okay, Ross, alright,” Dan breathed, positioning himself. Ross moaned and ground his ass back into him, and Dan spared Ross nothing in slamming his cock into him as hard as he could.

“Fuck yes, Dan!” Ross screamed. But he was falling apart too quickly.

“Dan I can’t hold on, shit Dan!” 

Dan grabbed the base of Ross’ cock and squeezed tight. “Don’t come, Ross,” he panted. “Fucking hold on!” 

Ross moans turned to whimpers, and then to panting, as he tried desperately to hold on while Dan fucked him senseless. 

“Dan,” he moaned, “please, let me go, I can’t—ah!” 

“Ross—ah! Hold on, man. I’m—shit! I’m so fucking—ah!” 

“Danny I can’t, I can’t, I fucking can’t, man please let me come, Dan fucking _please_! I’ll do anything Dan! I’ll blow you every morning forever!” 

“Ross, just hold—”

“You can fucking spank me for being bad, Danny, _please_!”

That was too much for Dan. He fell apart, his voice cracking on an embarrassingly whiny moan, and let Ross go, too. 

“Fuck, Danny, oh fuck. Fuck, fuck!” 

Ross didn’t come down from his orgasm until Dan was out of him and Ross was lying with his head on Dan’s chest. 

Ross probably thought Dan was asleep when he barely whispered, “I might love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I don't know if I have any ideas to keep this going. If you have thoughts, send them to me and I'll see if I can keep this going, but for now it's probably over.
> 
> I'm always open to any prompts!

**Author's Note:**

> I maybe had a few drinks before I wrote this.
> 
> Also, the Hazlenut Snowball Or Whatever is a drink my sister and I made up. It's actually pretty tasty, if you're feeling it. I think we maybe put vodka into it, too? I don't remember, it was a while ago. Try like, 1 shot vodka, 1/2 shot Frangelico, and then like 8 oz of milk. And don't be a pussy; use fucking whole milk or go home.


End file.
